Rindercella.

[phylkat]

BRILLIANT! (And yes it is a C&P)



This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker
could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).
Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must
have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without
converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read .... I
dare you!

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella
worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were
right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called
Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and
fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the
cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her
name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a
pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy
ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told
Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking
falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
suddenly the clock struck twelve. 'Mist all chucking frighty!!!' said
Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her
slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the
sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let
off a fig bart. 'Who's fust jarted??' asked the prandsome hince. 'Blame that
fugly ucker over there!!' said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had
lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success
and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave
the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had
bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on
Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome
hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and
Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

[Derek]

Post by phylkat
BRILLIANT! (And yes it is a C&P)
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker
could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).
Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must
have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without
converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ....
I dare you!
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella
worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were
right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called
Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet
and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her
name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a
pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy
ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told
Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking
falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince
when suddenly the clock struck twelve. 'Mist all chucking frighty!!!' said
Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her
slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and
let off a fig bart. 'Who's fust jarted??' asked the prandsome hince.
'Blame that fugly ucker over there!!' said Mary Hinge. When the stinking
brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly
isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was
ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers.
This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He
tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived
his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen
swanny!

Rinnie Barker? not in this galaxy I think most likely Freddie Starr or maybe
the Jim Davidson version

the original less rude version is attributed to Archie Campbell

Derek

[Geordie the Forgery]

This is where she got it from

http://www.d-a-l.com/help/after-hours-chat-room-adult/30668-story-rindercella-her-sugly-isters.html

And it was done by Ronnie himself.

[Derek]

Post by Geordie the Forgery
This is where she got it from
http://www.d-a-l.com/help/after-hours-chat-room-adult/30668-story-rindercella-her-sugly-isters.html
And it was done by Ronnie himself.
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Fact: 80% of the human body is water.
Or in my case, beer!

I doubt it very much Geordie due to two words - Mary Whitehouse there is
no way on gods earth any of that would have got past the self appointed
protector of the nations morals and the national killjoys association, on
prime time TV and no complaints my arse.
Its an urban myth imo I have seen it quoted in various places and in most
discounted whereas its on U tube in various guises and I have it on video.
Derek

[Geordie the Forgery]

Post by Derek

Post by Geordie the Forgery
This is where she got it from
http://www.d-a-l.com/help/after-hours-chat-room-adult/30668-story-rindercella-her-sugly-isters.html
And it was done by Ronnie himself.
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Fact: 80% of the human body is water.
Or in my case, beer!

I doubt it very much Geordie due to two words - Mary Whitehouse there is
no way on gods earth any of that would have got past the self appointed
protector of the nations morals and the national killjoys association, on
prime time TV and no complaints my arse.
Its an urban myth imo I have seen it quoted in various places and in most
discounted whereas its on U tube in various guises and I have it on video.
Derek

Sorry mate. I remeber seeing it on the telly.
[Showing age yet again]
It might come back on in the repeats the sat & cable channels are doing.

[moghouse]

Post by Geordie the Forgery
Sorry mate. I remeber seeing it on the telly.
[Showing age yet again]
It might come back on in the repeats the sat & cable channels are doing.

No, what you remember seeing on TV was the Ronnie Barker original
version. This one was the Jim Davidson "Club" version, although it was
issued on a video. You won't see the JD version on TV even now!

[Geordie the Forgery]

Post by moghouse

Post by Geordie the Forgery
Sorry mate. I remeber seeing it on the telly.
[Showing age yet again]
It might come back on in the repeats the sat & cable channels are doing.

No, what you remember seeing on TV was the Ronnie Barker original
version. This one was the Jim Davidson "Club" version, although it was
issued on a video. You won't see the JD version on TV even now!

Could be. The old braincell just ain't what it used to be you know.

[moghouse]

On Jun 27, 3:44 pm, "Geordie the Forgery"

Post by Geordie the Forgery

Post by moghouse

Post by Geordie the Forgery
Sorry mate. I remeber seeing it on the telly.
[Showing age yet again]
It might come back on in the repeats the sat & cable channels are doing.

No, what you remember seeing on TV was the Ronnie Barker original
version. This one was the Jim Davidson "Club" version, although it was
issued on a video. You won't see the JD version on TV even now!

Could be. The old braincell just ain't what it used to be you know.

Well if you need any reminding on U-Tube you can see Freddie Starr
doing this routine (not very well)
also an Australian couple. The American version (without the vulgar
language) is on there by several people and is even less funny, if
possible. How come all these people miss the point of the humour in
Spoonerisms? The transposition of the beginnings of the two words
should make new words if it is to be funny: e.g. Friar Tuck and
Cunning Stunts but just switching the initial letters like Sugley
Isters is very weak. Ronnie Barker understood this (but did not always
stick to it when the demands of writing new material got too
pressing!)

[Geordie the Forgery]

<SPIN>

Post by Geordie the Forgery
Could be. The old braincell just ain't what it used to be you know.

Well if you need any reminding on U-Tube you can see Freddie Starr
doing this routine (not very well)
also an Australian couple. The American version (without the vulgar
language) is on there by several people and is even less funny, if
possible. How come all these people miss the point of the humour in
Spoonerisms? The transposition of the beginnings of the two words
should make new words if it is to be funny: e.g. Friar Tuck and
Cunning Stunts but just switching the initial letters like Sugley
Isters is very weak. Ronnie Barker understood this (but did not always
stick to it when the demands of writing new material got too
pressing!)

Seen the Freddie one. Illegal cam job. {Used to work at the NTR Portsmouth
:) }
And talking of Spoonerisms, I refer you to 'Carry On Regardless' & Gerry
Andersons 'The Secret Service'. Both of which featured the great Stanley
Unwin.
[Age job yet again]

[Trevor Best]

Post by Derek
Rinnie Barker? not in this galaxy I think most likely Freddie Starr or maybe
the Jim Davidson version
http://youtu.be/p_jT0LLGE50
the original less rude version is attributed to Archie Campbell
http://youtu.be/QaSMqttJSZQ
Derek

Rinnie who? ;-)

ISTR Jasper Carrot doing a Spoonerism song, Bastardy Chelt. He said he was
going to do Robin Hood but had a problem with Friar Tuck.

[Mark Goodge]

On Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:00:39 +0100, phylkat put finger to keyboard and

Post by phylkat
BRILLIANT! (And yes it is a C&P)
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker
could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).

It wasn't Ronnie Barker, and it probably wasn't shown on TV, and if it
was it almost certainly wasn't in the 70s. There was a Two Ronnies
sketch along similar lines, but this isn't it.

The whole thing reads too much like a 21st century construction. The
main giveaway is the spoonerism for "minge". That's not a word that
was in common use in the UK in the 70s.

Mark

[Martin]

On Fri, 27 Jun 2008 07:23:19 +0100, Mark Goodge

Post by Mark Goodge
On Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:00:39 +0100, phylkat put finger to keyboard and

Post by phylkat
BRILLIANT! (And yes it is a C&P)
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker
could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).

It wasn't Ronnie Barker, and it probably wasn't shown on TV, and if it
was it almost certainly wasn't in the 70s. There was a Two Ronnies
sketch along similar lines, but this isn't it.
The whole thing reads too much like a 21st century construction. The
main giveaway is the spoonerism for "minge". That's not a word that
was in common use in the UK in the 70s.

It was in common use in UK already in the 1950s, but perhaps not on TV.

[phylkat]

Post by Martin

Post by Mark Goodge
The whole thing reads too much like a 21st century construction. The
main giveaway is the spoonerism for "minge". That's not a word that
was in common use in the UK in the 70s.

It was in common use in UK already in the 1950s, but perhaps not on TV.
--
Martin

For once I agree with you Martin, the word 'minge' was most definately used
in the 50s
I used the word as did most of my girlfriends. :o)

[moghouse]

Post by phylkat

Post by Martin

Post by Mark Goodge
The whole thing reads too much like a 21st century construction. The
main giveaway is the spoonerism for "minge". That's not a word that
was in common use in the UK in the 70s.

It was in common use in UK already in the 1950s, but perhaps not on TV.
--
Martin

For once I agree with you Martin, the word 'minge' was most definately used
in the 50s
I used the word as did most of my girlfriends.  :o)

I don't wish to upstage or downstage anyone but it was the most common
slang word for that part of the anatomy in the 40s, giving rise to the
adjective "mingey", which strangly is now given a different
pronounciation and derivation by the clever people who write
Dictionaries of Slang. Of course had they been there at the time......

[Derek]

Post by phylkat

Post by Martin

Post by Mark Goodge
The whole thing reads too much like a 21st century construction. The
main giveaway is the spoonerism for "minge". That's not a word that
was in common use in the UK in the 70s.

It was in common use in UK already in the 1950s, but perhaps not on TV.
--
Martin

For once I agree with you Martin, the word 'minge' was most definately used
in the 50s
I used the word as did most of my girlfriends. :o)

I don't wish to upstage or downstage anyone but it was the most common
slang word for that part of the anatomy in the 40s, giving rise to the
adjective "mingey", which strangly is now given a different
pronounciation and derivation by the clever people who write
Dictionaries of Slang. Of course had they been there at the time......

I seem to recall the goons slipping in an odd minge by way of Henry Crun
amazing what little gems they got past Lord Reith's decency police.
"Minnie Bannister, the world-famous poker player. Give her a good poker and
she'll play any tune you like."
Derek

[Trevor Best]

Post by Mark Goodge
The whole thing reads too much like a 21st century construction. The
main giveaway is the spoonerism for "minge". That's not a word that
was in common use in the UK in the 70s.

It was where I grew up.

[Paul Herber]

On Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:47:39 +0100, Trevor Best

Post by Trevor Best

Post by Mark Goodge
The whole thing reads too much like a 21st century construction. The
main giveaway is the spoonerism for "minge". That's not a word that
was in common use in the UK in the 70s.

It was where I grew up.

What? In a town called Minge?

[Derek]

Post by Paul Herber
On Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:47:39 +0100, Trevor Best

Post by Trevor Best

Post by Mark Goodge
The whole thing reads too much like a 21st century construction. The
main giveaway is the spoonerism for "minge". That's not a word that
was in common use in the UK in the 70s.

It was where I grew up.

What? In a town called Minge?
--
Regards, Paul Herber, Sandrila Ltd.
Visio Utilities http://www.visio-utilities.sandrila.co.uk/

Isn't it a mile or two from a town called malice ?

http://tinyurl.com/2exeq4

Derek

[phylkat]

This along with "Little Hide Redding Rood," " The Pee Little Thrigs", and
others aired in the mid 1950s too, I don't remember who it was made the
recordings but they were very popular and aired frequently back then.

Post by phylkat
BRILLIANT! (And yes it is a C&P)
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker
could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes).
Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must
have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without
converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ....
I dare you!
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella
worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were
right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called
Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet
and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her
name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a
pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy
ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told
Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking
falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince
when suddenly the clock struck twelve. 'Mist all chucking frighty!!!' said
Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her
slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and
let off a fig bart. 'Who's fust jarted??' asked the prandsome hince.
'Blame that fugly ucker over there!!' said Mary Hinge. When the stinking
brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly
isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was
ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers.
This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He
tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived
his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen
swanny!

[Mark Goodge]

On Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:42:44 +0100, phylkat put finger to keyboard and

Post by phylkat
This along with "Little Hide Redding Rood," " The Pee Little Thrigs", and
others aired in the mid 1950s too, I don't remember who it was made the
recordings but they were very popular and aired frequently back then.

A bit of Googling suggests it was Archie Campbell, who did several of
these. One of his was a version of "Rindercella", which is the basis
of the one posted at the head of this thread although not as rude.
It's obviously a tale that has got enhanced in the retelling.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archie_Campbell
http://www.matthewgoldman.com/spoon/rindercella_2.html

YouTube has plenty of versions by different comedians. If you have the
time, you can watch them in approximately chronological order and see
the progression from Archie Campbell's non-obscene original through to
the version that now does the rounds. None of them are by Ronnie
Barker, though.

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=rindercella

Mark